Life and Calling (Part 2): Learn to Be Quiet
“And that ye study to be quiet” -1 Thess 4:11
Contrary to many popular notions, the most charismatic, most talkative, most visible and most opinionated person is often not the most substantive leader. In fact, he or she is often the most wanting in several significant ways. A clear and obvious presumption that most of us have about leadership is that a leader has first achieved personal mastery, stewardship and leadership over himself or herself prior to assuming mastery, stewardship and leadership over others. And if the person who has either assumed a leadership role or has been chosen for leadership has not gained self-mastery, it will become painfully obvious to those whom he or she is leading.
The pathway toward personal mastery, which should occur well before assuming mastery over others is—more often than not—cloaked in solitude and obscurity, far away from the limelight, in the depths of quietness. As you learn to be quiet, you develop four important qualities that are all-important for successful leadership:
1. Deep and Profound Humility
It is within quietness that we are most introspective about our personal strengths and weaknesses. Self-awareness and self-discovery lie at the very heart of humility, because humility comes when one arrives at the plain recognition that he or she does not (nor ever will) possess all of the talent that accomplishing a large task requires; simply put, accomplishing large tasks necessarily require others. Deep and profound humility in leadership is exhibited when one learns to appreciate the strengths and weaknesses of others. This understanding leads to one of the most important facets in leadership: All people understand and show favor to the leader who recognizes that his or her condition is very much like everyone else’s.
“He hath shown thee, O man, what is good; And what doth the LORD require of thee, But to do justly, and to love mercy, And to walk humbly with thy God?” (Micah 6:8).
2. The Longer You Wait, the Weightier Your Word
In quietude you become a skillful listener. There are too few leaders who have acquired the skill (and accompanying power) of being a good listener. And this is largely owing to forsaking the value of being quiet. The virtue of listening to all sides before speaking is often extolled, but it is rarely practiced. Listening to the opinions of others—whether they share your premises or not—informs and empowers your opinion. Therefore, how much weightier will be your opinion if you speak last (and having had the opportunity to hear first) than someone who speaks first (and has not had the opportunity to hear others)?
“The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him,” Proverbs 18:17
“[L]et every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath” (James 1:19).
3. You Become Patient
Remaining quiet during personal trials ingrains the necessary patience for leading others. Consider the last time you achieved a goal only after enduring some difficulty. While you were certainly joyous at the outcome, you also discovered that there was some enduring value in the process that still serves you to this day. The process of enduring trials and tribulations worked within you a patience that results in the kind of maturity (perfect, entire and whole) that will allow you to demonstrate and model to those within your charge the kind of leadership that knows, understands and appreciates that trials and difficulties can not only be endured but also overcome.
“Therefore we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed,” Romans 5:3-4; “It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. Let him sit alone in silence when it is laid on him; let him put his mouth in the dust— there may yet be hope; let him give his cheek to the one who strikes, and let him be filled with insults” (Lamentations 3:27-30).
4. You Gain Wisdom
Within quietness wisdom is found. True wisdom is like dew. It is uncontaminated; it falls silently (often unnoticed); it is easily absorbed by the earth and its vegetation; it often appears in the absence of rain and its effect is demonstrated upon parched lands in need of assistance with the production of fruit; it is no respecter of persons (for it blankets and falls upon everything and everyone underneath it); and similar to snowflakes, every drop of dew has its own distinctive character that is unchangeable in nature, rife with sincerity, authenticity and simplicity.
Oh, how this is true of the wisdom that is gained after quiet deliberation. The person who is inclined to reserve judgment and opinion until after he or she has given thorough and patient consideration to a particular matter will be the most likely possessor of this wisdom.
“Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: And he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding” (Proverbs 17:28).
“But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy” (James 1:19).
As you “learn to be quiet,” which of the aforementioned qualities will you seek to develop first?
THE MISTAKES OF BOOKER T. WASHINGTON
“I remember one young man in particular who graduated from Yale University and afterward took a post-graduate course at Harvard, and who began his career by delivering a series of lectures on “The Mistakes of Booker T. Washington.” It was not long, however, before he found that he could not live continuously on my mistakes. Then he discovered that in all his long schooling he had not fitted himself to perform any kind of useful and productive labour. After he had failed in several other directions he appealed to me, and I tried to find something for him to do. It is pretty hard, however, to help a young man who has started wrong.” – Booker T. Washington, (1911) My Larger Education
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. offers the following concerning men and women whose actions are similar to the young man described in Booker T. Washington’s aforementioned passage: “Controversy equalizes fools and wise men in the same way – and the fools know it.” And the founding principal and president of Tuskegee (Institute) University provides several important lessons about both the young man-as well as all men and women of his ilk-who seek to establish their name and reputation on the basis of disparaging the name and reputation of others-particularly those whose accomplishments they will only be brought in close proximity to only upon the basis of “controversy.”
First, Mr. Washington never ever mentions this young man’s name. While this unidentified young man knew full well that persons might give him a hearing-not upon the basis of his own person and accomplishments-but based upon the person and accomplishments of his topic, “The Mistakes of Booker T. Washington,” identifying or responding to this young man provided not a single, solitary benefit to Mr. Washington and Tuskegee.
Second, Mr. Washington understood that the young man’s premises were flawed from the onset, and it is the clearest telltale example of Mr. Washington’s oft-repeated phrase, “Let examples answer.” To be sure, the actions of no man or woman are all “good” or all “bad.” (This is naïve, simplistic and child-like thinking.) Yet, in the face of the clear, overwhelming and documentable evidence that testify to the good that Mr. Washington had done locally, regionally and nationally, this young man titled his lecture series according to what he perceived were the mistakes of Mr. Washington.
Here again, what one consistently reads and hears, one will consistently become. And this young man ought to have taken heed to how and to what he was hearing for it ultimately led to what he had become. (For this young man’s attempt to categorize and confine a man of Booker T. Washington eminence and accomplishments to a series of perceived mistakes that his limited training, limited knowledge and limited life experience identified did nothing but demonstrate his failure to understand the significance of the (2) greatest 9-letter words and the single, most dangerous 9-letter word: 1. “Integrity” 2. “Knowledge” 3. “Ignorance;”)
Finally, we should consider Mr. Washington’s demonstration of another one of his famous aphorisms: “I let no man drag me down so low as to make me hate him.” The very same young man who sought to disparage and defame Mr. Washington later sought him for assistance, and Mr. Washington “tried to find something for him to do.” (This dynamic needs no additional commentary.) Yet what is deserving of additional commentary is that this young man might have spent his time and work writing, lecturing and building his own legacy and life worth reading as opposed to seeking to denigrate another’s whose legacy and life of building Tuskegee (Institute) University spanned 34 years (1881-1915) and remains and is read to this very day.
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